Memoirs of Thalia Grace
by Hatter's Daughter
Summary: She's outlived the ones she loved, the curse of immortality catching up to her as she prepares to face the rest of her life alone. But there is a lot more then solitude left in Thalia's life. Sometimes happiness can be found in the most unlikely sort: Hope. Only now it's her choice, and her's alone, to find a road to take and a life to live. These are the memoirs of Thalia Grace.


"_Warrior, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend."_

_Annabeth Jackson._

The brisk winter air blows through the empty spaces between me, and the shroud of Athena that now held the lifeless, ancient demigod body of my best friend, and the last half-blood alive from my generation. She was eighty seven. I stand completely still, my hood draped over my head and covering the majority of my pale, cold face.

"Thalia, would you like to say a few words?" Chiron whispers from behind me.

_No, _I want to say. Truly, I do not want to be here. I never want to come back for the demigod funerals, but of course I never do admit it. Not even to Lady Artemis, who is now, in fact, my only friend. But this is Annabeth, my best friend, my child. Nobody present knew her the way I did, not even Chiron. _You owe her the respect. _So in response to Chiron, I simply nodded and took a step forward, snow compressing under my animal skin boots as I let my hand slide out from under my cloak, my fingers curling around the shroud as I grit my teeth and slowly pull back to reveal the aged face I feared to see.

The wrinkles around her features and the solid gray head of hair made me cringe. If I closed my eyes, I still saw that seven year old blonde little girl that Luke and I had met so long ago, the child who sparked a fire in all of us. Shaking, but not because of the below zero weather, I placed two drachma coins over the deep circles of her eyelids. "Breathe easy, Wisegirl," I finally say as I take one last look at her and cover her face again, taking the torch from Chiron and throwing it over her. In a matter of seconds, the Greek fire swallowed her into oblivion.

And I was alone.

It's 2071, and I, Thalia Grace, have outlived everyone I loved. I've returned here, to this barren wasteland I once knew as Camp Half-Blood. But not for the childish pleasure and feeling of home that I once constantly craved. Now this place was the ball to my chains, the shackles that wrapped around my heart and were constantly dragging me back as I watched the flames erupt over the limp bodies that I knew were much more than heroes. Luke. Percy. Nico. Grover. Clarisse. Jason. Now Annabeth. They were all gone, their names would soon be forgotten forever, and I was going to live for the rest of eternity without ever seeing their faces again; alive, young, and breathing. Age will forever be a number that I will lose track of in the coming years. I want to cry, but I feel so empty. I can't even savor a tear for Annabeth. Not even the memories of Luke bring my eyes to water.

Because _I _envy them. Most would want to leave this world by now, this cruel world that was getting worse by the day. My friends were where they deserved to be: resting in Elysium. For the first time in many years, I craved a mortal life and there was no shame present. I would spend my days until the end of time in this fifteen year old body, meeting people, loving people, and watching them rise and fall like the winter wheat.

_No. _I disagree with myself there. _From this day forward, you will not love anyone else. You won't be hurt and you will not have to say goodbye. _Looking up, my blue eyes fall back to the dying flames and I watch the smoke rise into the dim morning sky. This was the last time I would have to return to camp. This was my last trip. No more remain. _Everything _precious would be forever locked away, safe in my memories. These warriors, who had more than glory to their name, would not have their stories retold by fools while my heart still beat.

A firm grip came to my shoulder and the hushed tone of the goddess's voice filled my ear. "It is time to go, Thalia," Artemis whispered.

I hadn't realized how long I had been standing here until I lifted my head and I was the only one standing in the empty amphitheater that surrounded the dying embers. "Yes, Milady," I respond, emotionlessly. The dawn sky was clouded with upcoming snowfall, and I steal one last look at the dying glow of Annabeth before I turn around and don't look back.

Artemis leads me back to the cabins. Many of them are obsolete since the Greek demigod numbers have faltered over the years in result of the gods becoming more active in their Roman forms. The Zeus cabin is currently empty, and that is exactly where Artemis takes me. Before entering, she brings us to a halt in front of the doorway, and takes both of my hands. She purses her lips before saying, "I'm sorry about your friend. I understand you two were close-"

"I know the circumstances and sacrifices of being a huntress, Lady." The tone was a lot sterner then I had intended for it to be, and my body goes stiff in shame.

Artemis gives me a pointed look and I cannot meet her gaze. I open my mouth to apologize, but my words are lost as she wraps her arm around me and the goddess pulls me into a hug.

No. _Not_ as my leader. As my friend.

I stand there dumbfounded, and unable to respond as she lets me go and twists open the knob to Zeus's cabin. The door hinges squeak as it swings open and I feel Artemis give my hand one last squeeze. "We can stay here longer if you request," Artemis offers. I know she's trying to be kind to me, but it's obvious she wishes I reject the gesture. Not that she makes it that way. I know that Artemis looks to me as a friend more than her lieutenant. It's the other huntresses. Already I could hear Phoebe getting into an argument with one of the male demigods across the yard. It wouldn't be long before the other huntresses began growing violently restless.

I shake my head quickly. "No. There is no need."

She nods, almost relieved. "Alright. We will leave this evening after supper."

Then I am alone again.

The atmosphere of the Zeus cabin was cold, and lonely. Even the eyes of my father's monument don't seem to be boring into me, and I can't help but feel even more alone. Still, I make my way to the bunk in the far corner and out of view of the statue's face. It's only after I have lie down and let myself settle before I realize that I won't be able to fall asleep any time soon. My mind was racing.

After a while I got up again, pacing back and forth in the small room. I was confused. I didn't want to be here, at camp, but at the same time I couldn't see myself going anywhere else. I wasn't entirely sure of where the Hunt would migrate to next. It was winter now, so tracking was much easier in the snow and Phoebe would insist. I personally wanted to go someplace warm, the barren ice landscapes beginning to become a hassle in my opinion. That was the lie. The cold was just making me unhappy, and sad. But I couldn't admit that to myself.

* * *

I didn't remember dozing off, but when I woke up the sun was setting. The rays of light that had been shining through the corners of the curtain bound windows were darkening. The room is chilly as well; almost even more empty then it had been before. The numbness in my limbs made me feel like I had even abandoned myself. Immediately, I sprang into action and arose from the bed. I lit a small fire in the hearth of the cabin, kicking off my boots and socks to let them dry off. I paced barefoot, trying to get my blood flowing again and to my ease, the floor heated up in a short amount of time.

When a knock hit the door, I found myself in a bigger rush as I lunged back to the fire, snatching my boots up and quickly shoving my feet back into them, not even bothering with my socks.

"Di immortals," I curse under my breath as I quickly brushed myself off, running my thumbs underneath my eyes to wipe off any smeared, dark make-up that was on my face before I opened the door, the cold air quickly blowing in as I lifted my head, expecting to see my escort to dinner. Instead, I found myself surprised by an unexpected visitor. I know her face anywhere, but there is still uncertainty in my voice.

"Lady.. Lady _Athena?_" I whispered, standing stiffly in the doorway.

Athena cleared her throat, her black and gray hair wet with fresh snowflakes. "Thalia," she confirmed. "Sorry if I am interrupting you," she said slowly, looking over me. Her eyebrow raised and I blinked, looking down at feet.

My boots were on the wrong feet.

My face flushed red, and I looked back at the goddess, embarrassed.

She didn't seem to really notice. Her mind was somewhere else, and my face went back to its normal pale state.

"Might I come in?"

"Oh, of course," I muttered, opening the door wide enough for her to step through before I closed it again, locking the cold air back outside. Athena walked into the center of the cabin, exchanging glances with the giant statue of Zeus before setting herself down by the fire, taping the spot next to her. I nodded and quickly moved to her side. I noticed how awkward my walking suddenly was since my boots weren't fitting right. After I placed myself down I bit my lip before gesturing at my feet and asking, "Do you mind?"

"Of course not."

I pulled my boots off slowly, prying my socks out from the insides and shaking them back into their regular state before slipping them onto the correct feet, following with my boots. Athena stared at the fire, the flames reflecting in her eyes, which were much more deep and cloudy rather than the normal perky gray I always had seen in Annabeth's. Athena looked tired.

I cleared my throat, awkwardly. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Athena turned her head to me. "It was only a matter of time. I will carry on, like I always have."

My body stiffened at the words and I had to look away from her so I wouldn't bore into her eyes with hatred. She spoke like Annabeth was born to die, and I suddenly every negative thing I could think of that the gods did flowed back into my mind, and how she couldn't help but see the lack of care for their mortal offspring. We both knew Annabeth was much more than any of the demigods ever combined, and that didn't change just because she was now in the Underworld. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to clear my head. I had to be understanding. It was in Athena's nature to speak the logic, that Annabeth obviously would have died sooner or later like all of her other children. That's what I told myself.

"I'm going to miss her. Truly, I will," Athena said emotionlessly.

"Yeah, me too."

The goddess looked at me. "I know you will. She was a good friend to you."

"She was much more than that," I blurted in almost a hiss. I mentally hit myself in the face. That was the second time today that I had lashed out on an Olympian.

But Athena wasn't offended. She turned to face me, even if I was staring down at my lap. "How much of a hypocrite I must seem to you. Any of us, actually." That earned my attention, and I turned my head to face her, my eyes turning to solid ice.

"What are you proposing, Lady?"

Athena shrugged. "Well, for one, there were many people at Annabeth's shroud burning, and all she was to the vast majority of them was a name and a story. Many of them were actually getting impatient with the ceremony and cranky from the cold, early morning. I could hear their thoughts; I could see it in their eyes."

"It's not Annabeth's fault. She was alive the longe–" I stopped short. Then the realization hit me.

Athena looked at me. "Thalia of Zeus, as unreasonable as it may seem, how often do you think a god visits their fallen offspring's funeral? Particularly, the mortal ones," she asked me slowly.

I was silent for a moment, even if I knew the answer. "Hardly ever." _Yet you came to Annabeth's._ I suddenly felt really guilty for lashing out on the goddess of wisdom. "Lady Athena, I apologize. I really didn't mean.."

Athena shook her head. "It's understandable, especially coming from you of all people. I'm sorry, too."

I didn't misinterpret it. I understood.

"I won't forget her."

Athena nodded. We were silent for a while, before her tired voice came again. "Nor will I."

For once in my life, I felt equal with a god.

* * *

**Well, I'm back! It's been awhile. I noticed that when I logged on and the layout was totally new to me.**

**I just read the Diary of Luke Castellan in the Demigod Diaries and damn. (Holy Thaluke feels.) It just sparked my need to write FanFiction again. **

**I hope you enjoy this and I hope this wasn't paced too fast. I'll try to post chapters every other day. Maybe I'll post another one tomorrow.**

**Anyways. Review!**

**Sincerely,**

**Katniss Everdeena.**


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